Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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