I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
