My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My vagina just recognized that song.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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