scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have already put on my inside pants.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
