I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize