So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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