Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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