sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
