there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
as a side note pls kill me
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