remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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