Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have fence marks all over my body
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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