he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize