Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
