so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
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