I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize