if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
