u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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