So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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