No stitches, just platelets and will power
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have fence marks all over my body
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
