I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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