Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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