Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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