Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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