i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
