She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
