Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
