I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
