if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
