he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
