I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm getting married
To pizza
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize