i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
