We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just had sex on a roof
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
