Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I forget how to act sober
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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