Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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