remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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