I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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