Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
