we made out on top of his cat.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
