You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
