I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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