She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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