At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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