Will you blow on my dice?
I'm going to jail i love you
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
