How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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