The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
3 2 1 whiskey
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
