nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
