I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
