No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
