I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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