i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
