dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
