So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
