I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
