Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...

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  (440): dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so... http://tfl.nu/5ecd
  Replies (8) Good night (632) Bad night (1961)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.

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  (815): i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed. http://tfl.nu/wp0k
  Replies (68) Good night (979) Bad night (9943)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

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  (817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"? http://tfl.nu/9rca
  Replies (29) Good night (9952) Bad night (1176)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You are so irish.

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  (585): I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better. (1-585): You are so irish. http://tfl.nu/pewr
  Replies (19) Good night (7194) Bad night (1066)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.

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  (901): He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him. http://tfl.nu/u51w
  Replies (23) Good night (7392) Bad night (1076)
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  (661): View more from California

  His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger

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  (661): His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger http://tfl.nu/nen0
  Replies (32) Good night (11620) Bad night (1242)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend

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  (954): Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/zfzy
  Replies (14) Good night (1094) Bad night (3946)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.

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  (860): I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax. http://tfl.nu/od6q
  Replies (11) Good night (881) Bad night (2802)
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  (607): View more from New York

  There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.

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  (607): There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober. http://tfl.nu/pncu
  Replies (2) Good night (3152) Bad night (988)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.

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  (919): Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician (919): 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician. http://tfl.nu/iajm
  Replies (10) Good night (2312) Bad night (792)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking

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  (262): The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/wbzc
  Replies (7) Good night (631) Bad night (1219)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?

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  (574): should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know? http://tfl.nu/sb56
  Replies (10) Good night (615) Bad night (1283)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.

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  (570): Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore. http://tfl.nu/httm
  Replies (1) Good night (1287) Bad night (435)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin

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  (717): In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin http://tfl.nu/u60j
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (401)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life

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  (+44): I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life http://tfl.nu/m5e9
  Replies (7) Good night (280) Bad night (634)

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