Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The best revenge is premature balding

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  (603): The best revenge is premature balding http://tfl.nu/ugsl
  Replies (15) Good night (3978) Bad night (1022)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes

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  (443): And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes http://tfl.nu/p6zo
  Replies (28) Good night (1350) Bad night (5176)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they

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  (208): its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they http://tfl.nu/pnta
  Replies (44) Good night (800) Bad night (4330)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass

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  (740): his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass http://tfl.nu/zmgu
  Replies (13) Good night (711) Bad night (6273)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  idk, I had a turtle in mine.

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  (941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m
  Replies (30) Good night (3839) Bad night (5576)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  sick fucks of a feather flock together

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  (406): sick fucks of a feather flock together http://tfl.nu/mkne
  Replies (9) Good night (2254) Bad night (859)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me

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  (712): We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me http://tfl.nu/ga08
  Replies (2) Good night (1213) Bad night (1058)
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  (631): View more from New York

  His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets

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  (631): His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/4eyt
  Replies (13) Good night (546) Bad night (2044)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.

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  (443): okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't. http://tfl.nu/3nap
  Replies (3) Good night (1757) Bad night (518)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?

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  (801): Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning? http://tfl.nu/nrqu
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (427)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.

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  (512): I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland. (1-512): I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies. http://tfl.nu/m9ig
  Replies (5) Good night (1154) Bad night (468)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.

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  (306): oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear... (1-306): I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing. http://tfl.nu/2wjm
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (293)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.

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  (304): He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke. http://tfl.nu/5p7e
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (342)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls

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  (+44): My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls http://tfl.nu/6im1
  Replies (3) Good night (401) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.

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  (614): Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in. http://tfl.nu/59r7
  Replies (1) Good night (248) Bad night (368)

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