I never want to see another naked old woman again.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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