Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
