Texts From Last Night

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  (+93): View more from

  dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this

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  (+93): dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this http://tfl.nu/ft70
  Replies (13) Good night (749) Bad night (1774)
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  (310): View more from California

  I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.

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  (310): I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless. http://tfl.nu/yhaf
  Replies (7) Good night (750) Bad night (2368)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists

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  (317): Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists http://tfl.nu/xgub
  Replies (11) Good night (3182) Bad night (717)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?

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  (303): Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen? http://tfl.nu/jc7g
  Replies (35) Good night (4832) Bad night (1172)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.

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  (612): all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high. http://tfl.nu/s4fq
  Replies (33) Good night (6314) Bad night (863)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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  (804): Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina. http://tfl.nu/ugq6
  Replies (14) Good night (3235) Bad night (1117)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here

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  (503): i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here http://tfl.nu/1c81
  Replies (5) Good night (811) Bad night (1118)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex

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  (518): I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex http://tfl.nu/h730
  Replies (10) Good night (2702) Bad night (588)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster

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  (908): Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster http://tfl.nu/yuhk
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (1368)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.

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  (519): currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy. http://tfl.nu/g3do
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (1054)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.

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  (970): Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby. http://tfl.nu/d4tv
  Replies (2) Good night (1239) Bad night (439)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.

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  (570): My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think. http://tfl.nu/k90n
  Replies (7) Good night (519) Bad night (487)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.

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  (563): He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him. http://tfl.nu/nqw4
  Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (195)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex

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  (+44): Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex http://tfl.nu/fkis
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (252)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.

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  (306): He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/1jgc
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (204)

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