Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper