Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"

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  (514): i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon" http://tfl.nu/hj7f
  Replies (25) Good night (957) Bad night (5413) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.

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  (832): Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college. http://tfl.nu/9ey3
  Replies (9) Good night (3950) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.

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  (403): you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape. http://tfl.nu/to8s
  Replies (15) Good night (4534) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.

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  (603): I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months. http://tfl.nu/isje
  Replies (9) Good night (3622) Bad night (1284)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

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  (615): Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron. http://tfl.nu/4qyy
  Replies (14) Good night (4229) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.

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  (516): matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed. http://tfl.nu/kzo6
  Replies (3) Good night (1871) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"

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  (781): I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again" http://tfl.nu/7as1
  Replies (4) Good night (3922) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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  (706): On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related. http://tfl.nu/0zhl
  Replies (12) Good night (2391) Bad night (433)
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  (569): View more from

  I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome

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  (569): I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome http://tfl.nu/60qi
  Replies (6) Good night (1243) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.

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  (414): Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking. http://tfl.nu/i6qu
  Replies (16) Good night (1584) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

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  (850): Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks. http://tfl.nu/uggh
  Replies (24) Good night (1195) Bad night (512)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.

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  (651): As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week. http://tfl.nu/bh6r
  Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (297)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad

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  (812): Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad http://tfl.nu/owz5
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  ...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text

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  (319): ...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text http://tfl.nu/8wuc
  Replies (2) Good night (1336) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.

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  (562): Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight. http://tfl.nu/c5kp
  Replies (4) Good night (585) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt

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