Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved

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(304): View more from West Virginia

my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh

(513): View more from Ohio

is this your pickup line?

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(718): View more from New York

did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?

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(513): View more from Ohio

you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(818): View more from California

he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.

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(209): View more from California

She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper

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