you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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