I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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