Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
