you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
