We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
